
Retirement is meant to be the golden period of leisure, journey, and time properly spent with the folks you like. However for a lot of {couples}, the minute one or each spouses go away the workforce, the fantasy rapidly turns into friction. Why? Social Safety—extra particularly, all the things they thought they knew about it.
A long time of misinformation, sophisticated guidelines, and modifications to this system have led to a bunch of myths that {couples} solely confront when it’s nearly too late. These myths don’t simply trigger confusion. They trigger arguments. About when to file, how a lot you’re owed, who will get what, and whether or not you possibly can even belief the system in any respect.
Let’s break down the seven Social Safety myths that gasoline probably the most fights amongst {couples} and how one can keep away from falling into these traps when retirement lastly arrives.
1. “We Ought to Each Declare Advantages As Quickly As We Can.”
Social Safety lets you begin amassing advantages as early as age 62. However what many individuals don’t understand is that doing so completely reduces your month-to-month payout. For those who wait till your full retirement age (sometimes 66 to 67, relying on whenever you have been born), you get your full profit. Wait even longer (as much as age 70), and your profit really will increase because of delayed retirement credit.
In {couples} the place each spouses retire across the identical time, the urge to say early and “get pleasure from life now” may be robust. But when one partner is in good well being and has an extended life expectancy, delaying their advantages can imply hundreds extra per yr in family earnings in a while, particularly for the surviving partner. Arguments usually begin when one accomplice feels stress to delay for the sake of the opposite, or worse, when somebody claims too early with out consulting their partner. Timing issues, and choices needs to be made collectively.
2. “If I Die First, You’ll Get My Full Profit Robotically”
One other emotional set off in retirement discussions comes from assuming the surviving partner will robotically obtain the deceased accomplice’s full Social Safety profit. Sadly, that’s not at all times true. Right here’s the way it actually works: the surviving partner is entitled to obtain the upper of the 2 advantages—however not each. In case your partner passes away, you gained’t gather their test along with your individual. You’ll get whichever is bigger, however you might lose the smaller profit completely.
It is a severe challenge for {couples} the place one accomplice had considerably decrease lifetime earnings, labored part-time, or didn’t work outdoors the house. Many stay-at-home mother and father count on they’ll robotically inherit their accomplice’s full payout, however that’s solely true in the event that they qualify for the survivor profit and meet sure age standards.
Not understanding this rule has left many widows and widowers in monetary chaos. It’s greatest to plan for survivor advantages now—not after it’s too late to regulate.
3. “We Each Labored, So Spousal Advantages Don’t Apply to Us”
Spousal advantages aren’t only for households with one earnings. If one partner earned considerably greater than the opposite, or if one had a non-traditional work historical past, it would make extra monetary sense for the decrease earner to say a spousal profit somewhat than their very own.
A spousal profit permits one accomplice to say as much as 50% of the opposite’s full retirement profit. This generally is a higher deal in case your private work file doesn’t qualify you for a lot by yourself.
Arguments come up when one partner insists on “claiming their very own” out of pleasure or misunderstanding. In actuality, coordinating advantages for optimum family earnings is wise—not an indication of weak spot or dependence.
4. “As soon as We File, We Can Simply Change Our Thoughts Later”
When you file for Social Safety, reversing that call is hard. There’s a one-time, 12-month window the place you possibly can withdraw your software, however provided that you pay again all the advantages you’ve obtained to date.
{Couples} typically make rushed submitting choices solely to later understand they need to’ve waited. By then, their month-to-month cost is locked in for all times, and there’s no going again until you’re keen and capable of repay all the things.
This fantasy may cause severe resentment between companions, particularly if one feels rushed into submitting early because of concern, stress, or misinformation. Be completely positive you’re making the correct transfer earlier than submitting.

5. “Social Safety Is Going Bankrupt, So We Have to Seize Ours Now”
Concern round the way forward for Social Safety is comprehensible. You’ve seemingly seen headlines warning this system will “run out of cash” within the coming a long time. Whereas the belief fund is projected to be depleted by the 2030s, that doesn’t imply advantages will vanish.
Even with out full funding, payroll taxes would nonetheless cowl about 75–80% of present advantages. Lawmakers are additionally prone to intervene with modifications earlier than advantages are slashed.
Nonetheless, panic leads many to say early, solely to remorse locking in a smaller test for all times. The parable of whole collapse is overstated. It’s higher to make choices primarily based in your private longevity, financial savings, and earnings wants. Not fear-driven headlines.
6. “Divorce Means I Misplaced All My Declare to Your Social Safety”
This fantasy usually surfaces in later-life divorces, and it results in pointless stress, particularly for long-married spouses. The reality is, should you have been married for 10 years or extra, you should still be entitled to say a spousal profit primarily based in your ex-spouse’s work file. You don’t want their permission, and it gained’t cut back what they or their new partner receives.
{Couples} usually don’t understand this rule applies to ex-spouses, which may trigger arguments in blended households or second marriages. It’s price investigating your eligibility, particularly if your individual profit is considerably decrease.
7. “Social Safety Is Meant to Cowl Every thing We’ll Want in Retirement”
Maybe probably the most harmful fantasy of all is the concept Social Safety alone can maintain two folks all through retirement. For the typical American, Social Safety replaces solely about 40% of pre-retirement earnings.
Relying solely on Social Safety is a monetary danger few {couples} can afford. And but, many uncover this actuality too late—after they’ve left the workforce, downsized, and assumed the checks would stretch additional than they do.
Disagreements usually come up when one accomplice desires to proceed working or saving whereas the opposite believes they’ve already “earned their relaxation.” A wholesome retirement wants greater than nostalgia—it wants a technique.
Planning Collectively Is the Actual Retirement Purpose
Retirement isn’t nearly amassing a test. It’s about constructing a life-style collectively. Social Safety is a key piece of that puzzle, however misunderstanding the foundations (or one another) can result in extra than simply monetary losses. It will possibly result in resentment, battle, and concern.
Take time to know this system earlier than you declare. Discuss actually about your targets, your fears, and your monetary actuality. Retirement doesn’t need to be a battlefield. It may be a shared victory so long as you’re each studying the identical rulebook.
What’s one Social Safety fantasy you or somebody you understand believed till retirement made it private?
Learn Extra:
10 Instances It Makes Extra Sense to Take Your Partner’s Social Safety
When Social Safety Is Sufficient: 8 Methods To Guarantee Your Social Safety Will Fund a Modest However Pleased Life
Riley is an Arizona native with over 9 years of writing expertise. From private finance to journey to digital advertising and marketing to popular culture, she’s written about all the things underneath the solar. When she’s not writing, she’s spending her time outdoors, studying, or cuddling together with her two corgis.